I could say I had fallen in love before but I was glad that I also had fallen out of love too. For me love is a decision not just a feeling. This principle in my own perspective makes my life right to the eyes of God. Why do I say so? Our Lord helped me to fall out of love because He has other plans for me and up to now He is still helping me. I’m glad that I was guided by His Spirit to read the Bible when I was just 12 years old. This was a miracle for me because my family didn’t read the Bible and we didn’t even have a Bible in the house. But God sent a Bible to our house through the kindness of one missionary group from America. It was a New Testament Bible and because I really do love to read books, I was bent to read it. Slowly He molded me, up to the time that I was introduced to Him to accept Him as my personal Lord and Savior. He made a way that I would have a good close relationship with Him before anyone else.
Single Blessedness, God has blessed me to have peace, joy and contentment of having my life revolving around Him without having a partner. You may say, I’m a hypocrite. Yes, I do get lonely, I also do get depressed. But the amount of overflowing joy and peace that flows inside me from the Lord is so big that it quenches all my loneliness.
Relationships, I admit that I had been there. Just what I said, for me “Love is a decision, not just a feeling.” Maybe, you’re wondering what do I mean by this, I was fortunate that God was there in every relationship that I had before. He helped me see the person in his true color and also helped me to decide and fall out of love.
Decision, “Why do I have to decide? I do believe that my future lies on it… Wrong decision will mean misery forever, Right decision with the help of my Lord will mean misery today because of heartaches but will end up with happiness forever. I saved myself or rather He saved me from having a disastrous relationship if I blindly obey my feelings and marry the person eventually.
Integrity, you may say, I was looking for a perfect husband. You’re wrong. I was just not lucky enough to meet someone who has integrity. But what does this word means to me. First, according to the New American Webster Dictionary, the word integrity means fidelity to moral principles. And its synonyms are honesty, virtue, completeness, honor, morality, principle, uprightness, righteousness and goodness. In other words, the person should be honest to me with virtue. He must completely love and honor me not disgrace or abuse me. He has a good moral principle that makes him upright to God and he has also good relationship with our Lord that will make him righteous in His sight, and this in turn will change him to a better person with goodness in his heart. Sadly, but I haven’t met anybody yet with integrity in my own point of view. I admit I have flaws and everyone has too. But the willing to change is what I’m seeking from the person. His life is the true testimony not just words coming from his mouth. I believe that a person really is changing for the better by doing it not by merely saying it.
Christian, Yes, I could seek a Christian partner. But wait, I also had fallen out of love with a professing Christian. He had never been true to his words to me, to others and maybe even to God. Our Lord made me see his true color and I awoke from my deep sleep.
Eternal Love where in the world would I find it? “Not here dear, but up there” this is what the Lord seems to be saying to me. I guess He’s right. But what about those happy couples that are they really enjoying their life? Well, yes, I believe they are, some people are blessed with good partners. They are helping each other to pass through this life. “But what about me?” You may ask this question if you’re single or just alone in life. Well, for me, “You’re not alone dear especially when you are waiting with God. He is the one who is helping you pass through this life. Isn’t it great to have a perfect partner who gives love through eternity and not just love but also life eternal with Him. I would just say Amen, Lord.
“He is the one who is helping you pass through this life. Isn’t it great…..”
Source: Kaibigan Magazine July/August 1998 Edition pages 20-21
